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Bartuc
08-07-2007, 08:02 AM
Gulool Ja Ja, leader of the infamous Mamool horde, had returned to his palace in Mamook, intending to tarry some days and replenish his vigor before returning to the front lines. Little did he know, one not of the brood had witnessed his arrival.
Indeed, while dining for an afternoon at the acclaimed Shararat teahouse, my relentless maw reached too deeply and too greedily around the flanks of my fourth quad stacker, and, for a moment, I swooned. During those seconds, in a half state of trance, I watched an image of the dauntless, two-headed savage himself marching past an assembled guard of honor, through bleak and bemired wooden gates.

"Egads!", I exclaimed, startling my moogle, who had grown so unsettled by the boundless capacities of my appetite that he'd taken to watch the skies instead, dreaming of the days when his people were free to line dance across the plains of Mindartia and to pluck the eyes of Kuluu as they lay sleeping, wrenching them into a blind, nightmare world from which they could never escape. Even I, sometimes, would find myself leaping awake in bed, heart racing, and making a quick tactile scan of my face to ensure that those sockets above my cheekbones held those precious organs still. Mark my words, one of these days those duplicitous bastards will be free again and we will all pay dearly.

Anyway, hurrying out into the stifling heat of Serpentking Square, I cried to whomever dared listen: "Gulool has returned to Mamook! The time to act is now! Let us live free from the spectre of his wrath! Let us gird ourselves with sword and taco, and march unabashed into the lair of the Monster himself!"

"Nowai", said a servile cur, black circles framing his droopy eyes and a Defending Ring adorning his feeble hands.
"lol", said another, putting on his PLD gear to farm for his GF.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v321/totorox80s/torn.jpg

"I will go", said Tornrage.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v321/totorox80s/kaeli.jpg

"Yes", chimed in Kaeli. "Why don't we give those motherfucking, shit-eating sacks of ballsweat a little Besieged of their own."

To my surprise, mere hours passed before I'd accumulated a bevy of Al-Zahbi's bravest, stalwart examples of the best that the East has to offer. I suggested we visit the Shararat Teahouse once more before our departure, that we might first get to know each other a little, maybe play a few rounds of Galaga, but warriors of this caliber whet their swords all too anxiously, and would not abide by any delays. I tried to suggest Ms. Pac Man. Still, no dice.

Our arrival in Mamook took the fiends by surprise, and spelt doom upon scores as the unprepared Mamool were caught in the middle of walking back and forth, clearly dedicating their reptilian brains not to the business of observing sodden walls or rotting timber, but to schemes of dashing our childrens' heads against rocks, and stealing our favorite flavors of Kool-aid right out of the cupboard. Yea, never again will I return to my mog house after a hard day's work of examining gear in Whitegate only to find that I am inexplicably out of Blue. Never again.

Fresh corpses of their devil kin tumbled to the ground around our advancing column. While we experienced casualties, impact on our progress was negligible, and on each occasion one of our number struck earth with a mortal wound, only moments passed before they found life again, gasping for air and clawing at the sky and screaming before they realized they were with friends, and had suffered only a minor loss of xp.
Within hours we'd reached the venerable Mahogany Door, behind which it was said that the tyrant dwelt. War drums and shrill, reedy sirens from every corner of the metropolis continued to ring in our ears, all to no avail. I inserted the 3 keys and turned them in sequence, each shattering in the process.
"I think you turned them too hard", said Lefiel.
"No I didn't", I said.
"You're just a big, dumb ass key-breakin' bitch is what you are", said Lefiel.
"I swear to god", I began.
"Guys", said Chasan, pointing through the opened doorway, the inflection in his voice indicating danger, as well as self-motivation, and an honest and open kinship with nature.

Inside was no astral candescence, no repository of gold, no bowflex or giant, talking pumpkin. Nay, there was only Gulool, half-empty 40 of King Cobra in hand, dual heads grinning.
"Naturally, I've been expecting you", croaked the left head.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v321/totorox80s/gulooljaja1.jpg

"Gulool Ja..." started Carmisse, when suddenly a hefty bottle of glass was hurtling through the air, speed lines whirring around it as a screaming metal guitar solo blasted itself into existence. Lonekent pitched backward end over end as the bottle crashed against his bulbous Taru head.

"MEDIC!!!" yelled Scionith, hurdling the unconscious West Sarutabarutan and making a beeline for the guffawing warlord.

"Guards!" bellowed Gulool's other head. From seemingly out of nowhere, a quartet of his most elite minions appeared to harry the intruders.

Now it was on.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v321/totorox80s/gulooljaja4-1.jpg

Though the scoundrel fought savagely, in the end, his efforts were for naught, just as his royal peers in the Lamian and Troll realms.

http://img117.imageshack.us/img117/8779/dropsmamoolen6.jpg

http://img117.imageshack.us/img117/2525/thronems4.jpg

Since, I have returned triumphantly to Al'Zahbi, keeping trophies of the fallen tyrants on my person:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v321/totorox80s/bazaar.jpg


With all 3 kings defeated, I suppose this means a safer world for all. Back to eating quad stackers.

Ahem.

Yeah Q_Q

:erm:

PS nice job, folks. We'll have to make the rounds again sometime (titles to collect, after all!!!)

Carmi
08-07-2007, 08:08 AM
Jesus fucking christ, Tuc, Kaeli would SO not cuss like that nigga :sweat:

Lefiel
08-07-2007, 10:39 AM
hahaha if only kaeli did speak like that it'd be awesome.

Yummy
08-07-2007, 11:56 AM
ballsweat hahahaha

Immortaldonut
08-07-2007, 01:13 PM
I love you tuc Q_Q-b. In a strictly platonic, hetrosexual way. Back to eating Quad Stackers!

Izzy
08-07-2007, 01:22 PM
I love you tuc Q_Q-b. In a strictly platonic, hetrosexual way. Back to eating Quad Stackers!

Motherfucker, you can't down a Quad Stacker. Don't play us like that.

Immortaldonut
08-07-2007, 01:23 PM
Motherfucker, you can't down a Quad Stacker. Don't play us like that.
You're just jealous because I do it on a regular basis. Go whine some more about how you can't even finish a big mac.

Oronachinagi
08-07-2007, 01:32 PM
You're just jealous because I do it on a regular basis. Go whine some more about how you can't even finish a McNugget.

Fixed.

Carmi
08-07-2007, 01:37 PM
lol

Izzy
08-07-2007, 02:40 PM
Fixed.

FU! Go whine about how you can't eat anything LESS than a Quad Stacker you fatty.

Claymoore
08-07-2007, 03:20 PM
I love Tuc <3

Leylana
08-07-2007, 03:54 PM
You're just jealous because I do it on a regular basis. Go whine some more about how you can't even finish a big mac.

Sorry, I have to interject here...

Dave put away 7 slices of pizza in a period of about 20 minutes on Sunday. My theory is he has a few tapeworms, but we haven't proven it yet. Q_Q-b

Immortaldonut
08-07-2007, 04:12 PM
Sorry, I have to interject here...

Dave put away 7 slices of pizza in a period of about 20 minutes on Sunday. My theory is he has a few tapeworms, but we haven't proven it yet. Q_Q-b
I can put away a whole pizza in the same time.

Leylana
08-07-2007, 05:27 PM
I can put away a whole pizza in the same time.

Lol, he was one slice short...Carm beat him to it

Immortaldonut
08-07-2007, 05:33 PM
lol, what kind of pizza though? mine was ham and pineapple. extra toppings = more food!

Aspiringfinch
08-07-2007, 05:51 PM
I am 99% sure Diana had Pickles on her Pizza.:aurora:

Leylana
08-07-2007, 06:18 PM
I am 99% sure Diana had Pickles on her Pizza.:aurora:

I'm 100% sure I had pickles next to my burger...but Chris ate them :cool:

Not to mention Dave was drunk and Godzilla'd my first burger >_>

Scionith
08-07-2007, 06:26 PM
Chris ate pickles? Does Tommy know about this infidelity? :erm:

Izzy
08-07-2007, 06:53 PM
I'm 100% sure I had pickles next to my burger...but Chris ate them :cool:

Not to mention Dave was drunk and Godzilla'd my first burger >_>

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Claymoore
08-08-2007, 10:20 AM
I was amazed that the godzillaed burger didnt manage to taste like Daves foot :P

Oronachinagi
08-08-2007, 12:33 PM
http://img259.imageshack.us/img259/7439/obtainedgullzv8.jpg
You, sir, make me sick.

Also,

"Yes", chimed in Kaeli. "Why don't we give those motherfucking, shit-eating sacks of ballsweat a little Besieged of their own."

I would seriously come back to FFXI if Kaeli started talking like this on a daily basis! :tati:

Kaeli
08-08-2007, 02:17 PM
:erm:

Carmi
08-08-2007, 02:19 PM
:love:

Camigwen
08-09-2007, 08:35 AM
lol.

Tuc you're the shit, man.

blas-doo
05-21-2009, 11:01 AM
jesus fucking christ almighty D= on a bike that was awesome! =D loved that story tell me another ^.^y preez~

Yummy
05-21-2009, 12:10 PM
holy crap.. that was NEARLY 2 years ago :eek:

time sure does fly

blas-doo
05-21-2009, 03:37 PM
really >.>;;;;; clearly... i dont pay attention to time D=

Yummy
05-22-2009, 10:40 AM
really >.>;;;;; clearly... i dont pay attention to time D=

It's all good. I was referring to the topic actually!

I see you're from Sactown! King's fan?

blas-doo
05-23-2009, 07:40 AM
lol yes, i would imagine so XD i actually been to a couple of the games themselves at arco, but i have no clue pertaining to sports... i just know the ball goes into the hole with the dangly thread.