When a Boner is attacked by a pussy

[Boner]

Just the other day i was minding my own business when i heard a knock at my door. Now for those of you who dont already know, a knock at a door is a quite universal symbol that there is someone outside, and said someone would be please to either enter or at least speak with whomever is contained. I threw on my Phat Farm cod piece and approached the door. As i reached for the nob (perhaps a sexual reference?) something in the back of my mind told me not to open the door. For a moment i hesitated, but then i realized my mind was also the dickhead who told me clsoing my eyes while driving 120 mph getting a blow job could be 'exciting'. I opened the door to find an elderly lady standing before me. I motioned for her to enter, as she passed by me i thought i caught a faint smell of a cat, but, as she was indeed old, i figured she must own at least 12 cats, and brushed it off. Big mistake Boner.. BIG mistake. No sooner was the seemingly old lady inside my humble abode, did she throw off her most deceiving costume to reveal her true identity... a cougar. The cougar dove at me, claws fiercely swinging. I sidestepped and cock slapped the cougar with my own, now hard from the sheer excitement of fighting a cougar, wang. The cougar spills to the ground, tumbling several feet before springing to her feet. "Se llama La Puma!" she screamed. obviously an illegal alien cougar straight from mexico. Those border guards have it coming, but first, La Puma. I searched my room for a reliable weapon. The Katana on the wall? No, too messy. The rocket launcher under the bed? No, too loud. The Jew in the closet? No, not tax season... WAIT. I quickly reached for my 2 tech 9s, conveniently located in my sock drawer. As i turned to fill La Puma with sweet hot lead i see she has vanished. i edge along the wall to my door, peering around the corner, no La Puma in the hall. I slowly walk down the hall to my living room, where i see the old lady again in the chair. I unload the clips on both tech nines to be sure. As a approach the body i hear a maniacle cat like laugh behind me. La Puma! but if youre over there then who... Grandma!!! No time to grieve, she was old anyway, La Puma is at hand now. Its time to finish this, once and for all...

To be continued.... maybe.... yea ill continue it... well if i have time, i do have work the rest of the week, and kind of have a few things that need to get done, shouldnt be on the computer so much, but this story really cant go untold, so yea ill continue it. ok ok ok so...

To be continued...

[freja]

this thread needs ms paint illustrations to be complete ; ;b

[Claymoore]

Tech 9s?
I am alas unfamiliar with that brand... anyone know manufacturer and model?

[Lefiel]

no clue but they are extremely nice. they look like regular 9mm pistols cept they barrel looks different and the clip is much larger kinda like a MP5 clip cept its not THAT long and it doesnt have a curve in it ANYWAY superb story herr Boner.

[Claymoore]

I shall have to Google it then...

[Claymoore]

Properly spelled Tec-9 apparently, which is short for Intratec-9.
Also related to the scorpio smg.

[Lefiel]

claymore knows his semi-automatic pistols

[Claymoore]

Those too, but my favorites are AM-rifles (Barrett he he) or the OICW prototypes ^^

[Lefiel]

OICW "prototypes" ? oo do tell i like new technology ^ _ ^y

[Bartuc]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v321/totorox80s/images.jpg

>_>

[Lefiel]

i decided to google it and not be lazy and HOLY CRAP THATS THE SC-100000k blaah blaah blaah from splinter cell

[Claymoore]

Check this site out ^^

http://www.hkpro.com/oicw.htm

And maybe this...

http://www.metalstorm.com/

Lots of fun.

[Golds]

Boner-chan to the rescue with more seeds of entertainment... yay!

[Tyree]

Tec-9's are infamous for having feed problems and jamming.

Basically they look cool but don't use them if you're in an environment where your firearm should "go off when you want".

[Claymoore]

Ill stick with H&Ks products.
German quality!

[Lefiel]

what the FUCK














HI tyree how are you ?

[Bartuc]

OMG HI2U SIR!!

[Bartuc]

by the way here are some illustrations

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v321/totorox80s/beodisturbed.jpg

A knock at the door!!

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v321/totorox80s/atthedoor.jpg

Who's this??

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v321/totorox80s/SHAZAM.jpg

SHAZAM!!!



I think it's time I went Professional with this.

[Golds]

http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a150/Golds/icon_vlol.gif That's so awesome dude! http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a150/Golds/icon_vlol.gif

[jin]

HAHAHA nice pics

[Carmi]

SHAZAM!!!

I love tuc Q_Q

[Boner]

With my legion of true tales fashioned with near death and adventure, and your artistic interpretation of these epics, i sense a delectable graphic novel of monumentous acclaim.


Btw i have dark brown hair and its shaven to mere stubble, blond and spikey was so 5 years ago...

[Golds]

So the gfx need to change Boner from a Cloud wannabe to a citizen of Oz... and I'm not talking about the Oz with flying monkeys and yellow brick roads.

[Boner]

exactly Golds, a citizen of Oz, minus the anal rape... well maybe... nah minus the anal rape

[Golds]

Well ya know... "It's always better to give than to receive." Just make sure you're the generous one! ;)

[Golds]

This just in! New paparazzi photos of Boner-chan and his homies!

http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a150/Golds/mara1.jpg

http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a150/Golds/mara2.jpg

[Lefiel]

if you didnt know im the guy on the far left in the back getting ready to sweep the room.

[Claymoore]

Tuc missed drawing the Tec-9s, i am most disappointed!

[Bartuc]

I ran out of time - had to run back out into the frozen Antarctic to take a few measurements; also didn't get to the cock-slapping part :(


and lolol Golds

[roku]

http://www.9thelsewhere.com/images/baconyocoke.jpg
this is the only respones to the madness i could think of

[Lefiel]

mm bacon