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Thread: I'm bored, so I'm posting a joke or two..

  1. #1
    Zicatriz's Avatar
    Zicatriz is offline Trial member since 9/20 Posting Decorative Weapon
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    I'm bored, so I'm posting a joke or two..

    A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected a half-gallon of 2% milk, a carton of eggs, a quart of orange juice, a head of romaine lettuce, a 2 lb. can of coffee, and a 1 lb. package of bacon.

    As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier.

    While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, "You must be single."

    The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single.

    She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status.

    Curiosity getting the better of her, she said,

    "Well, you know what, you're absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?"

    The drunk replied: "Cause you're ugly."
    I'M FUCKING CUTE

  2. #2
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    Zicatriz is offline Trial member since 9/20 Posting Decorative Weapon
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    A guy walks into a bar ... once inside, he realizes it's a gay bar, but he decides, 'What the heck, I really want a drink.' So he sits down at the bar, and the gay bartender says to him, 'What's the name of your penis?' The guy says, 'Look, I'm not into any of that. All I want is a drink.'

    The gay bartender says, 'I'm sorry, but I can't serve you until you tell me the name of your penis.' So the guy looks at the man sitting to his left who is sipping on a beer and asks, 'Hey bud, what's the name of your penis?' The man to left, with a smile, looks back and says, 'TIMEX.' The guy asks, 'Why Timex?' The fella proudly replies, 'Cause it takes a lickin' and keeps on tickin'!'

    A little shaken, the guy turns to the fella on his right sipping on a fruity margarita, 'So, what do you call your penis?' The man to his right turns to him and proudly exclaims, 'FORD, because quality is Job 1', he then ads, 'Have you driven a Ford lately?'

    Even more shaken, the guy has to think for a moment before he comes up with a name for his penis. He turns to the bartender and exclaims, 'The name of my penis is SECRET. Now give me my beer.'

    The bartender begins to pour the guy a beer, but with a puzzled look asks, 'Why secret?' The guy says, 'because it's strong enough for a man but made for a woman!'
    I'M FUCKING CUTE

  3. #3
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    Ever play medievia?
    I see you're gangsta, I'm pretty gangsta myself.
    The names Ray and I'm bad for your health.
    Selflessly devoted member of the fuck you club,
    cuttin' you like a baby seal and leavin' you dead in the tub.

  4. #4
    Zicatriz's Avatar
    Zicatriz is offline Trial member since 9/20 Posting Decorative Weapon
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    oO Yes I did....
    I'M FUCKING CUTE

  5. #5
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    and thats where I remember you from

    /15 trip Zicatriz

    loot firediamond Zicatriz
    I see you're gangsta, I'm pretty gangsta myself.
    The names Ray and I'm bad for your health.
    Selflessly devoted member of the fuck you club,
    cuttin' you like a baby seal and leavin' you dead in the tub.

  6. #6
    Zicatriz's Avatar
    Zicatriz is offline Trial member since 9/20 Posting Decorative Weapon
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    lol who are you!?
    I think i sold my firediamonds to pay for a good tyche =P
    I'M FUCKING CUTE

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